Tuesday, June 19, 2012

50 Shades Explained

Ok, so in record timing, I read all 3 50 shades books. In my last post I said I would have to get back to you on whether or not I loved Christian, well the answer is YES!!!!! I'm seriously in love with him. Which actually, makes me more pathetic. Not only did I give in to reading the books in the first place, but now I LOVE the protagonist??? I'm such a loser.

Christian is so perfect. I wasn't sure about the BDSM obsession in the beginning or the fact that he was a broken man...but like now, I don't even care. the BDSM isn't even that bad. (did i just say that?) All he wants to do is love and protect stupid Ana. Isn't that what we all want? I understand completely why Ana is under his spell. The way he acts, the things he says to her, the things he gives her..... I mean, COME ON! But don't let my love for him fool you into thinking the books are great. They are written on a fourth grade reading level and the plot of the book has to be so outrageous to keep an equilibrium  with all of the sex scenes.... which towards the end get a little boring. ok-- enough with the books

in a few sentences this is what my life is while living at home with my parents:

my adult acne is back in full swing. i really miss Lost. 68% of my day is spent listening to my dad tell me some sort of story the other 32% is my mom yelling at me to either clean my room or take my dog for a walk. (yeah mom, ill take delta, the worlds most hyper dog, on a walk in 100 degree weather) i cant believe just 2 short months ago i was going out 3-4 times a week. the highlight of my day is watching jeopardy. (6:00) my mom has no regard as to what i air dry and put in the dryer so half of my shit has shrunk. lately ive been finding myself eating ramen noodles for breakfast.

so basically im on the right track for a successful life.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

50 shades of confusion

I'm gonna write this blog like it hasn't been a year since my last entry...

So I didn't sleep at all last night because a few things are on my mind. Don't worry, by reading this entry, you will be enlightened. 

First things first, I just finished "50 Shades of Grey". When I say "just", I mean as in 2 hours ago. I read through the night and finished at 5:42 this morning. Needless to say, the only reason I am able to write right now is because of the shower I had to take after reading it. Mixed emotions after finishing it. One being, I'm mad at myself for giving in...I swore I would never read it. (For those of you that have read it, how "anastasia" of me)

 Reason number one for not caring about the book, I do not have a BDSM fetish. Number two, I heard it was somewhat of an "adult version" (and a more poorly written version) of the "Twilight" love story...I think they call it a "saga" though.  (I hate Twilight)  The third reason, to be honest, I'm not ready to move on from the "Hunger Games" trilogy. I loved those characters and don't think I'm ready to let new ones in. Well....too late. 

Which brings me to my next point of my mixed emotions:
Christian Grey. I hate that I love him. I'm not going to give you a run down on his character, because chances are if you're a girl, you have probably read the book; and if you're a guy, you're not going to give a damn. Every girl could use a Christian in her life, minus his BDSM obsession and in inability to love. BUT! at last, you know that he CAN love....so you hold on to the sheer hope of him maybe tearing down his stone wall that he calls a heart and letting Anastasia in. But back to why every girl needs a Christian. Think of how easy your life would be. You could do whatever you wanted, minus his rules, buy whatever you wanted, given his approval....okay maybe he's not sounding so great as a write this....hence the mixed emotions. Wait-- Do I love Christian Grey? [I'll have to get back to you after I finish the stupid trilogy]

The last emotion that I'm feeling from the book is exhaustion. After 8 solid hours of reading, numerous sexcapades, and the added stress of "how bad is Christian going to hurt Anastasia", I'm glad it's over. However, I'm not glad that I started reading this piece of erotica at my parents house over summer break. I literally couldn't leave my bedroom. Whilst reading, my blood pressure was probably 160/80 (keep in mind I have no medical background but I'm guessing that's high) my chest was in hives, and I'm not exaggerating at some points in the book I was sweating. When I did finally close the book, I felt my blood pressure drop...so that was nice. However, couldn't go to sleep.

Secondly, I just turned the tv on and Miley Cyrus is engaged. WTF?! seriously, miley, get a life.  I'm seriously so pissed about this. 

I think my next blog is going to be a composition of things my parents say while I'm home for summer. It will give me something to do and help reiterate that I'm the most sane in my family.