Wednesday, August 3, 2011

sorry this is like a month late

btw it took me like an hour to remember my user name and password.

Blog entry II

Sorry for the delay on the blog, I know you’ve all been holding your breath. I’ve had a lot of fans ask me to blog about this past Saturday night because, if you follow me on twitter, you would know that things were a little out of control. Caroline and I were driving to Knoxville from Florence and we had been in the car for about an hour which was an hour too long for someone to ask if  “are we going out tonight?” we both started laughing and gave each other sly smiles that meant, “duh”. So as I increased the speed from 75 mph to about 90 mph, because clearly we had plans, we started texting people to get the ball rolling.
I told Caroline that I was “scared” to go out to tonight. Here’s the back-story; last time Caroline and I had gotten back into Knoxville our dad stayed the night. He asked us if he wanted us to join him at this party at this million dollar mansion, a “welcome to our new house party”, I asked if there would be an open bar, he said yes, so the answer was obvious. Caroline, my friend Megan and I roll up with my dad to this Italian style mansion…blah, blah, blah, open bar. We start off with champagne, 1,2,3 glasses later, “Ill have a vodka tonic please”. After my fifth VT I realized I’m wasted and I drag everyone to Jimmy Johns. We get there and I couldn’t order a beach fucking club fast enough. From this point Caroline has to fill in the blanks. She says I had been in contact with one of my former victims (hook ups) I tell him to come to Jimmy J’s and to meet my dad?? WHAT & WHY??? But that wasn’t the only reason I was scared to go out Saturday.

On a normal or what seemed to be a normal Tuesday, the next week, our neighb Deavs, asked us if we wanted to go to trivia night at a place on the strip. Being awesome at trivia and wanting to drink I oblige. We get there, I obviously don’t order food (I would rather have liquid carbs) and start drinking. About 3 beers in I realize that everyone is kinda being chill and not downing their drinks? This is weird to me? I don’t understand? I felt alone. Whatever- Ill have another please. So after trivia was over and we came in third because of the nerds from the Vet school teamed up and cheated, I begged everyone to run across the street to a place that has one dollar drinks from 9-10, we have 10 minutes; clearly enough time to black out. Everyone said they would go to the bar across the street but after go home- whatever, babies. So in order to get my way, I beg Caroline and we take everyone home and Caroline and I go back to the strip. We go to another bar, just the two of us and order a beer. By this time I am straight up ready to RAGE. I also sent my friend a text that said this “I’m wasted. No one cares. Goodbye.”  “You’re my only friend, (not really, but  kinda)”. I also told a random guy sitting in front of me that he “won the prize” that his cologne smelled like ten thousand dollars….that ass hole didn’t make friends with me. So being bored with that bar I tell Caroline we are going to another bar. Well the dick that was working the door wouldn’t let me in because I didn’t have my license. I had given my keys to one of the girls that had gone back home and my license was with her. So the “bouncer” who looked like he hit every ugly branch on the way down, wouldn’t let me in. So my underage sister gets in and she and all of my friends go to the window and wave to me outside. I sit at a bench like a little brat saying really mean things to the warden of the door and from this point on it gets a little hazy. What seems like hours later which in reality was ten minutes, my friend Jordan, came with my i.d. I flash it in front of the dick hole and say “see I told you I’m 22.” As I walk in I go straight to the bar and order, of all fucking things, two Jager shots. WHAAATTT???? Why??? 

At this point I become black out and I can only give you bits and pieces of the night: I WAS BLOWING money... ON. A. TUESDAY. I just remember running around being really hot and talking in a high-pitched baby voice? HOLY SHIT!! I had become the girl that I hate. I soon realize this and not having very good coping skills I don’t know what to do so the only logical thing I can think of is to order another shot? At the bar I look at my phone and it says 11:37. ARE YOU KIDING? I just kept thinking, “fuck”. So I turn around and another on of my previous victims is there and being that I hadn’t seen him all summer, I was kind of excited to see him. He was playing darts and I WAS SO OBNOXIOUS. I begged him and his friend to let me “shoot”.  At this point they should have just shot the dart straight between my eyes. I go to shoot, loose my balance and the dart hits the baseboard of the floor. Time to go home. That’s the last thing I remember. I wake up the next morning in the guy who was playing dart’s bed. It takes me a good thirty seconds to realize what had happened. I don’t remember leaving the bar, I have no idea how his clothes were on me; I have no idea what time it is, where my phone is, or if “anything” happened. Still don’t. So as I walk in my apartment door, well low and behold, so is little sister Caroline. She just looked at me, said she hated me because she blacked out just trying to keep up with me. We go in go to bed and I remember thinking “I AM GOING TO DIE.” It was by far the WORST hangover of my entire life. EVER. NUMERO UNO! I honest to god couldn’t move my eyes without tears coming out. All I could do was lay in my bed and make noises, “call of the wild” noises, if you will. 

So as you can see with my previous history of first nights back in town, it was reasonable to be scared.  We go out, things were pretty normal on this night except at the one bar, I will refer to it as “home”, there were just straight up stupid freaks there. Everyone was getting on my nerves, there was vomit all over 2 of the 3 bathroom stalls and at this point I was at all cost avoiding going to the bathroom. I somehow got really drunk, surprise, surprise and when I got home decided to read OF ALL THINGS these child hood books that I found called “The Holy Spirit”. I read it to everyone exactly as a black preacher would preach to his congregation. I was yelling so loud that our neighbors came and checked on us. I told them “everything was fine because the Holy Spirit was with us”. After that I blacked out and fell asleep. 

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